It was downtime at Crash. Everyone had gathered to celebrate another holiday together, to celebrate another year of life. The mood was happy and unabashadly relaxed.
But then Alec had shown up and everything was ruined.
Her warm brown eyes had fixated on him as soon as he’d stepped through the door. The words they flung at each other had been vile enough, like they usually were, but tonight, something was different. There was an undertone of warmth that hadn’t been there before. Maybe it was the New Year, another chance at life, an oppurtunity to right old wrongs.
I wondered what had changed between them. And then I shot the thoughts down, because it was too painful. But, like they had always been, my eyes were rebellious and kept creeping towards them, watching them interact.
It was strange watching them together. It was surreal; mind-bending, almost dreamlike.
Her bone straight hair, sliding through his long fingers. The hooded quality of his hazel eyes as he smiled into her bright chocolate gaze. It was obvious that he wanted her. It was obvious she was half in love with him.
It was just… wrong.
Her full lips lifted as she jerked her head towards the exit. Anyone who was looking at them knew what she was saying. Let’s get out of here.
I watched them, the ease with which they communicated, they way they spoke volumes without saying a word. And the jealousy that came with it was to be expected.
Why couldn’t we have ever had that kind of relationship? Why couldn’t we have figured everything out? Why had she ended up with him?
Alec glanced over at me, his eyes bright. He gave me a kind of half shrug. “Sorry, you know how it is. When a lady demands, a gentleman must concede.”
She had sighed, popping him upside the head with an ease that came naturally. He didn’t duck out the way; pretended to look wounded as she cuffed him. His pout turned into a lascivious grin when her fingers didn’t move away, but stayed in his hair, swooping down to caress the back of his neck. I watched in slowly dawning horror as their eyes locked in fiery passion. But then he caught my gaze, pulling away from her in embarrasment when he realized I was still staring.
His arm fell across her shoulders and he offered a half hearted wave to the occupants of the table. Her arm wrapped around his narrow waist and they moved as one towards the exit.
“Must be hard, watching them together.” A voice filtered across the table. I barely acknowledged it, a soft noise in the back of my throat my only response.
“Max, are you listening?” My head snapped towards Logan, who was grinning at me. “I said it must be weird, seeing him leave with Sam.”
I rolled my eyes. “In more ways than one. I thought they hated each other. Ever since she came back from Canada and that mean spirited Ordinary, all they’ve ever done is gripe at each other.” I sunk low over the table, nursing my beer. I muttered darkly into the froth. “Didn’t know stupidity was inherent in my genes.”
Logan must not have heard me, continuing on, despite how I desperately wished he'd shut up, "Well, you and Sam are pretty similar. So it's no surprise that they fought like cats and dogs when she first got here. Guess they finally worked through all that.”
Yeah, maybe fighting came naturally when mine and Alec's DNA was involved. But the understanding came easy, too. And I could never tell Logan this, but the gentle affection and unrepentant lust in Sam’s eyes when she looked at Alec were mirrored in my own soul.
The bitterness was all my own, though. The two transgenics were nearly at the door now. She whispered something in his ear and he’d laughed. Well, growled, really. And threw her over his shoulder to the catcalls of transgenics and ordinaries alike. Sam's face flushed in desire and she offered our table a cheeky, excited grin as Alec carried her out into the night air.
Is that how I would look... if that was me?
...Am I even capable of that kind of happiness anymore?
Logan was right. It was hard seeing them together. Not only because, in a way, she was sort of me. Mostly because, at the end of the day, she wasn’t me.