The price we pay for angst by bewarethemelodrama
Summary: Pure Crack!Fic. 90% dialogue. What ever you do, just don't question it. You'll go crazy. This is mostly to give y'all a break from my depressing tendencies. Oh dear :)
Categories: Characters > Max, Length > Standalone Characters: Max, Original Cindy
Genres: Humor
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 750 Read: 7471 Published: July 04, 2013 Updated: July 04, 2013
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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The price we pay for angst by bewarethemelodrama
Original Cindy was on a mission. The mission, and she damn well chose to accept it, was to get her fine-ass best friend out the house, out of her moping, and hopefully under something stress relieving.

The whole Logan and the virus deal had hit the girl hard. She barely ate, slept even less than usual. When she wasn't out in the middle of the night on her Ninja, she was just sitting around. Moping. Cindy did not stand for moping.

She entered Max's room, making little effort to be quiet. It wasn't like her girl was sleeping anyway. Instead she was perched on the windowsill as ever, staring out at the perpetual Seattle rain. Cindy flung herself down on her stomach onto Max's mattress.

"Whatcha doin', Boo?" she asked, even though she knew the answer.

"Nothin'." Max replied, shooting her a small smile. "Just watchin' the world go by."

"Uh huh." Cindy's immaculate, if she said so herself (which she did), eyebrows rose. "How 'bout you try joinin' it for a bit instead?"

"Not feelin' it tonight." Cindy prepared herself. This was going to be hard, but she would get the job done.

"You're not feelin' anything, any night, Boo." She stated. "You'd have had to participate in life in the last month to even recognize feelin' any more." Max swung to face her now, bringing her bunched knees down to dangle her feet over the window ledge.


"Harsh but fair, but Original Cindy is here to mend your angsty heart."

"Why do I feel worried?" said Max slowly, a feline suspiciousness coming over her features.

"No need to worry." Cindy assured her, confidently. "I know exactly what you need."

"And what is that?"

"I've lined you up with a date."

"Okay, I'm worried."

"Look girl, you are way too hot to live your life pining. I say, use what science so finely crafted."

"Your answer to my problems is to go crawl on someone?"

"On, under, back to front, I don't care. Jus' a long I don't have to witness these rainy day blues no more." Max wrinkled her nose.

"Back to front?"

"You wanna be celibate? Cuz that shit ain't right. Even Normal gets laid."

"Eurgh, mental pictures." Max groaned.

"Jus' sayin' Boo. You're going on this date. Even if nuthin' happens. Cuz you need to get back out in the world."

"I told ya, Cin', I ain't feelin' it tonight."

"No. Girl, you're going. You might enjoy yourself."

Max pouted. Like it would do anything.

"Besides," Cindy added, oh-so-innocently. "He'll be here to pick you up in five minutes."

"Five minutes?" Max shrieked. She looked down at the tank top and sweatpants she was wearing. Hardly date worthy. "I could kill you, woman." she said, narrowing her eyes at Cindy. "Wouldn't even break a sweat." Cindy pulled a slinky black mini dress from underneath her. She gave Max a broad smile and held it out. Max took it from her and looked over it appraisingly. "Maybe I'll kill you another day."

"Figured that." Max wriggled into the dress, which, she hated to admit, actually made her look pretty damn good. She started finger-combing the tangles out of her curly hair.

"So, who is the guy?" she asked.

"Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise." Cindy answered, evasively.

"Do I know him?"

"Oh yeah."


"I'd say so." Max turned away from the mirror, where she had started to apply her lipstick.

"Is this gonna be weird?"

"Just have an open mind, Boo." Max's eyes narrowed suspiciously once more.

"Cindy, who is it?"

"Nuh-uh," said Cindy, firmly. Even shaking her head for emphasis. "No way am I givin' it away. He'll be here any minute. Needless to say, you get along great, and he was full on enthusiastic to volunteer to be your date. What more do you need?" They both heard the knock at the apartment door then, and Cindy grinned. "Speak of the devil…"

"And he shall arrive." Finished Max. She slipped quickly into some black stilettos, and cast Cindy one last suspicious look.

"Go on." Her roommate encouraged. Max sighed, and approached the door. She smoothed down the front of the dress, and told herself not to worry. That whoever was on the other side of the door couldn't be that bad if she was friends with them anyway.

Max opened the door. Sketchy held a bunch of flowers and a goofy grin.

"Hi Ma..."

Max slammed the door.

"I'd rather be celibate."
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